What Looks Like Crazy by Charlotte Hughes

Author:Charlotte Hughes
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Jove
Published: 2008-08-19T04:00:00+00:00

I arrived home to find my front door splattered with dried egg. The broken shells beneath it suggested that an entire dozen had been used as artillery. I was stunned. Had Bitsy lost her mind? Or had one of her nutcase church members decided to join her in making my life miserable?

I muttered a four-letter word and marched across the street. I banged on Bitsy Stout’s door a full five minutes before she finally answered.

“Are you crazy?” I shouted. “You can’t just go around defacing other people’s property.”

Bitsy hitched her jaw in defiance. “You can’t prove I did it.”

“I don’t need proof. You’re the only nutso neighbor I’ve got, and if you set foot on my property again, you’re going to regret it.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Call it what you like, but if I catch you in my yard again, I’ll sic my dog on you.”

Bitsy smirked. “That little thing couldn’t hurt a housefly.”

I hate smirks. I wanted to smack that smirk right off of her face. Instead I crossed my arms and smirked right back at her. “Well, for your information, her father was a pit bull and dangerously vicious.”

Bitsy slammed the door in my face. I crossed the street, went inside my house, and let Mike out to relieve herself. By the time she returned, I’d changed into jeans and a T-shirt and taken a couple of pictures of the crime scene. I had no idea how I was going to build a case against Bitsy, but I couldn’t afford to let her damage my door so severely that I was forced to replace it.

I filled a bucket with hot sudsy water. I scrubbed and muttered foul words for more than an hour and was rinsing away the soap with a garden hose when the police pulled up.

I watched the officers cross my yard. “Are you Kate Holly?” the older one asked.

I immediately became anxious. Had something happened to Jay? Had my mother and aunt been in an accident? “Yes,” I said quickly. “What’s wrong?”

“We got a call from one of your neighbors that you threatened her life.”

I gave a huge sigh. “I don’t believe this.”

“Did you or did you not threaten to unleash your killer attack dog on your neighbor Miss Stout?”

I tried to think my way out of getting arrested, but before I could answer, a familiar black SUV pulled up. Jay climbed out and crossed the yard.

“Good afternoon, officers,” he said politely. “I understand we have a little problem here.”

“Who are you?” the younger officer asked.

“I know who he is,” the other man said, regarding Jay. They shook hands. “Who called the fire department?”

“Nobody,” Jay said. “I heard it over the scanner. Figured you guys might need backup. This is one dangerous woman you’re dealing with. I’m married to her, so I should know.”

I was sure Bitsy Stout was peering out her window at the whole thing. “That’s really funny, Jay,” I said.

“Your wife supposedly threatened to sic her attack dog on an old lady.”

“She also made lewd and lascivious gestures,” the younger one said.

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